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Imagine that Jane Austen had written the opening line of her satirical novel Pride and Prejudice this way: "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a good romp and a good wife — although not necessarily from the same person or from the opposite sex." In Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts Mr. Darcy has never been more devilish and the seemingly chaste Elizabeth never more turned on.
The entire cast of characters from Austen's classic is here in this rewrite that goes all the way. This time Mr. Bingley and his sister both have designs on Mr. Darcy's manhood; Elizabeth's bff Charlotte marries their family's strange relation and stumbles upon a secret world of feminine relations more to her liking; and, in this telling, men are not necessarily the the only dominating sex. And of course there's some good old fashioned bodice ripping that shows no pride or prejudice and reveals hot hidden lusts in every page-turning chapter.
- Sales Rank: #407334 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Cleis Press
- Published on: 2011-07-05
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .71" w x 5.04" l, .60 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 224 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Review
"An X-rated homage to Jane Austen's classic."
—Glamour UK
“The author did a brilliant job of keeping to the original story but just adding very saucy and outrageous acts to make it stand out!”
—Leetid’s Reading
"A sexual soap opera set back in the day of horse and carriage!"
—Angel's Cove
"Readers familiar with Austen’s story will laugh (and blush) with delight as their favorite characters shed their mild mannered exteriors (and clothes) and succumb to passion."
—San Francisco Book Review
"...A glorious, breathless gallop through the word-smithing antics based on Jane Austen’s most popular classic novel... Written with Szereto’s deft humor, combined with Austen’s style, the result is a great deal of fun with literature, with scandal and laughter on every page. Laugh out loud funny and arousing by turns, the pace doesn’t flag from beginning to end, every point spot on."
—Portland Book Review
"Instead of living happily ever after, Elizabeth and Darcy have faced murderers and zombies. Now Mitzi Szereto gives the classic novel an erotic work-over. It's not just bodice ripping, but Szereto has thrown in a sprinkling of gay desire and BDSM as well."
—Hot Press (Ireland)
"Mitzi Szereto's erotic parody is a loving historical riff on the Jane Austen classic." - The Advocate
"This novel uses Szereto's spicy additions to explore and elaborate on the character's motivations, thus legitimately reinterpreting Jane Austen's story rather than simply jamming in the erotica... Szereto's imagination will surprise, her interpretations will intrigue..."
—Rambles.NET
“A fan of the original and wondering what all the characters you enjoyed might really be thinking of doing behind all those pleasantries? Give Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts a read and see if you feel the same lusts they do!”- Bzzingbee
"The author, Mitzi Szereto takes all our favorite characters and puts them in the sexiest situations imaginable. Pride and Prejudice:Hidden Lusts is a mash-up similar to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies in style, except there aren’t any walking dead. But there is definitely some head."
—Glamour
"A fun take on a classic."
—The Reading Life
"What I really liked about Szereto's rendition is that it made sense and the insertions were much lovelier to read than the inclusion of dead, grizzled walking corpses... So as long as you don’t take your Austen too seriously, I think you will find this version an amusing and titillating treat!"
- Girls in the Stacks
"Ms. Szereto has, while honoring the original manuscript, done an excellent job in inserting those hidden lusts that could very well have been in in the minds of each and every character from the original novel."
—Book Reader's Heaven
"Szereto has replaced modesty in all my favorite characters with porno-pumping desire."
—College Candy
"Dear Lord, this is Pride and Prejudice, is nothing sacred? Yet I couldn't stop reading."
—Lynette's Two Cents
"I was delighted with this book, anyone who loved the original classic should read Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts by Mitzi Szereto!"
—Readaholics Anonymous
"This novel is quite respectful of the original. Szereto’s version is hilarious and accomplished. Who is to say that Jane Austen wouldn’t have written something like this if the zeitgeist of her era had been more like that of ours? In years to come, this book will probably be regarded as a classic in its own right."
- Jean Roberta/Lizardlez
"Read it if for no other reason the novelty or seeing peoples faces when they think your all smart and reading a classic, then they look closer and see it's smut."
—Getting Naughty Between the Stacks
"(Szereto's) sophisticated and humorous touch to retelling a well-known story is both absorbing and clear. I still find it impressive how well her rewrite lines up with the original novel, and look forward to her future endeavors."
—Romancing the Book
"I giggled, laughed and smiled all through Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts."
—Another Look Book Reviews
"Put simply, "Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts" is delicious smut… Szereto has written us some healthy, Victorian erotic…everyone enjoys a good romp or three and lives happily ever after."
—EDGE
"This is a 'must read' for anyone who loves spicy and entertaining literature. You’ll be shocked, uncomfortably aroused and planning to re-read it over and over. Bravo Ms. Szereto for bringing us all a little more culture."
—Whipped Cream Reviews
"Despite the sexy times, Mitzi has kept the story faithful to how Austen would have written it, so the style of it is perfect, and flows well."
—Love Romance Passion
"A refreshing change while keeping the classic storyline intact... This was my first novel by Mitzi Szereto, but definitely not my last!"
—JoJo's Book Corner
"Szereto has captured Austen’s voice and tone and the essence of her characters so well that you might’ve believed that it was written by Austen herself — but for all the lustful thoughts and naughty shenanigans that appear in just about every chapter!"
—Pace J. Miller
"It is my personal opinion that Austen would not be rolling over in her grave over Szereto's novel. In fact, she might laugh a little."
—The Dying Book Affair
"Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts is historical parody, Regency romance, erotica, and satire. It's a mashup of all mashups. And most of all, it's a whole lot of fun!"
—Mitzi Szereto, in an interview with Joey Pinkney
"I was extremely conscious at all times to write in the voice of Jane Austen. I wanted Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts to be seamless, with nothing marring the Austen feel and story-telling style or, I should add, her use of language."
—Mitzi Szereto, in an interview with The Book Rat
"I read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and let me tell you something: this is no Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. There's way more seminal fluid."
—Cherry Trifle
"Ms. Szereto brings new life to this classic. The original book seems dry by today’s standards, but this new version will keep the reader entertained from first page to last."
—Sensual Reads
"Everything from the tone to the dialogue is executed superbly... This adaptation of Jane Austen is essential for collectors of literary erotica and, dare I say, is just as fine if not more riveting and sexy read than the original."
—Lucrezia Magazine
"Mitzi Szereto follows the original story line but endows each of the characters with their own quirks of fancy and sexuality with no shortage of imagination."
—Jane Austen Prequels and Sequels Review
"If Jane Austen had drunk a great deal of absinthe and slipped out of her petticoat . . . Mitzi Szereto's erotic parody of Pride and Prejudice might well be the result!"
—Susie Bright
"This is the book Jane Austen would have written, if only she’d had the nerve!"
—Reading Lark
"Polite manners and civilized society are juxtaposed with the seething sexual undercurrents of Szereto's devising. Some ardent Jane Austen fans might scream 'Sacrilege!', but indeed others might raise their eyebrows in interest at this innovative take on a classic as I do and say 'Why not?'"
—Fiendishly Bookish
"[S]exy and often quite humorous . . . Enthusiastically recommended."
—Library Journal
"Thank God for Mitzi Szereto! Now the literary purists have someone new to go after with their pitchforks. Adding zombies to Pride and Prejudice was one thing, but SEX SEX SEX? It’s sacrilege! Raunchy, hilarious, subversive sacrilege . . . which is the best kind, of course."
—Steve Hockensmith, author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls
"If Jane Austen can survive the onslaught of zombies, she can surely swoon all over at the thought of Mitzi Szereto’s witty and explicit new exploration of her classic novel. A sexy hoot!"
—Maxim Jakubowski
"Mitzi Szereto’s deliciously erotic retelling of Pride and Prejudice boldly turns Austen’s classic on its pretty little head, knickers-side up. With keen wit (I laughed out loud many times), elegant prose, and a wicked imagination, Szereto exposes hidden lusts and truths, paying irreverent homage to Austen’s romantic entanglements of yore while at the same time revealing a great deal about contemporary matters sexual and otherwise."
—Janice Eidus, author of The Last Jewish Virgin and The War of the Rosens
"Mitzi Szereto’s Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts is a luscious tribute to Jane Austen. This erotic version of the classic honors the wit, romance and sociological observation of the original. At the same time, it’s as though Szereto knows the wicked thoughts that went through many of our minds went we first read Pride and Prejudice. Austen lovers will savor this hot Regency romance — perhaps even your aunt who worships the PBS versions. And those who don’t love Austen can enjoy this entertaining, smart and sensual novel."
—Polly Frost, author of Deep Inside: Extreme Erotic Fantasies and Sex Scenes
"Mitzi Szereto’s adaptation of Pride and Prejudice is a mysterious and delightful uncovering of random sexual encounters among the landed gentry. You will have a ball!"
—Nick Belardes, author of Random Obsessions and illustrator of West of Here
“Wicked, tongue in cheek (and elsewhere) take on Pride and Prejudice—a wild, funny, sexual romp. Austen is shaken up, sexed up, and stirred up in Szereto’s naughty, laugh out loud, exuberant homage to P&P.”
—Janet Mullany, author of Jane and the Damned
"How fun it is to wander in the minds of seemingly proper tea-and-crumpets men and women, set to the tune of Jane Austen's romantic tale. Szereto creates a parody that's full of sex of all kinds (including taboo topics like homosexuality, adultery, and BDSM), but it is classy at the same time."
—Stephanielovesblogspot
"Thank God for Mitzi Szereto! Now the literary purists have someone new to go after with their pitchforks. Adding zombies to Pride and Prejudice was one thing, but SEX SEX SEX? It’s sacrilege! Raunchy, hilarious, subversive sacrilege . . . which is the best kind, of course." (Steve Hockensmith)
From the Back Cover
A classic that goes all the way
In Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts, Mr. Darcy has never been more devilish and the seemingly chaste Elizabeth never more turned on. The entire cast of characters from Austen's classic is here, caught with their breeches unbuttoned and their skirts raised high in this re-imagined red-hot Regency romance. And of course, there's plenty of good old-fashioned bodice ripping that shows no pride or prejudice and reveals hot hidden lusts in every scandalous page-turning chapter.
About the Author
Mitzi Szereto is an author and anthology editor of multi-genre fiction and non-fiction. She has her own blog Errant Ramblings: Mitzi Szereto's Weblog, and a web TV channel Mitzi TV, which covers the "quirky" side of London. Her books include Rotten Peaches (The Thelonious T. Bear Chronicles) and Normal for Norfolk (The Thelonious T. Bear Chronicles) - the quirky crime/cozy mystery series co-authored with her sidekick bear Teddy Tedaloo; Love, Lust and Zombies; Darker Edge of Desire: Gothic Tales of Romance; The Wilde Passions of Dorian Gray; Thrones of Desire: Erotic Tales of Swords, Mist and Fire; Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts; Red Velvet and Absinthe: Paranormal Erotic Romance; Getting Even: Revenge Stories; Dying For It: Tales of Sex and Death; In Sleeping Beauty's Bed: Erotic Fairy Tales; Wicked: Sexy Tales of Legendary Lovers; and Silk Sheets: Collected Stories of Mitzi Szereto.
Most helpful customer reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
...you could have never imagined what was really going on in Netherifeld Park!
By Amy Fine
Pride & Prejudice: Hidden Lusts is an erotica novel adaptation of Jane Austen's classic Pride & Prejudice. All the characters are still here from Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth, and Mr. Bingley but you could have never imagined what was really going on in Netherifeld Park!
While Mrs. Bennett is determined to marry off one of her daughters to the good fortune of Mr. Bingley, Mr. Bennett is too busy behind his study doors with his favorite pictures to get involved.. Mr. Bennett is not the only one with an agenda of his own...Mr. Bingley and his sister both have their sites set on Mr. Darcy and will seemingly stop at nothing to get him. Lady Caroline is trying to bring her birch across anyone's backside that will oblige. Lydia is busy entertaining any officer she comes in contact with. Mr. Collins is known to go behind the bushes with any number of men to satisfy his need. All the while, Elizabeth is keeping herself busy and trying not to think of Mr. Darcy. Will anyone get what they so desire?!
My Thoughts
This adaptation what a refreshing change while keeping the classic storyline intact. Some of the scenes were a little much for my taste, but the plot remained solid and does justice to the genre. One of my favorite's is in chapter 19..."As Elizabeth lay in her bed in Lambton touching herself, so too did Darcy in Pemberley, their hands moving in unison at their loins....That their thoughts should be so closely united would have astonished them both, for as Elizabeth imagined that the fingers within the folds of her womanhood were those of Mr. Darcy, he imagined that those encircling his manhood belonged to her." This was my first novel by Mitzi Szereto, but definately not my last!
10 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Sex with no Emotion
By L. Curtis
Dear Lord, where do I begin?
Okay, everyone knows that my not so secret vice is Pride and Prejudice adaptations. My favorites are ones where Darcy and Elizabeth show their love for each other (umm, get there grove on, have sex, do the nasty). However, nothing prepared me for this.
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: HIDDEN LUSTS was crazy for coco puffs, completely lacking in reason and common sense. Yet, I was entertained. Granted my entertainment was more along the lines of "Dear Lord, no she didn't. Dear Lord, no this isn't happening. Dear Lord, this is the stupidest, craziest, thing I have ever read. Dear Lord, this is Pride and Prejudice, is nothing scared?" Yet, I couldn't stop reading.
The only way I can make my review coherent, or for you to understand what I mean is to go character by character and give you their sexual vices. This is full of spoilers, because I'm giving you each characters kinks.
BEWARE OF CONTINUING: THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT AT HEART. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. LOL.
Mr. Bennet: He loves to enter woman in their 'hind quarters.' Since Mrs. Bennet refused to do this, he has discovered special drawings of woman with things sticking out of their hindquarters. When he is in the library ignoring his family he is getting himself off and bankrupting his family by paying for these pictures. He eventually gets tired of the pictures and carves out a piece of butternut squash to resemble a woman's internal parts (I'm trying to be delicate here, people!) where he sticks his wee wee. Of course, he is so exuberant that the squash is quickly destroyed, so he ends up banging Mrs. Hill.
Mrs. Bennet: Mrs. Bennet's love of officers back in the day resulted in Jane. Horrified by her husband's sexual impulses, she goes and buys potions from the gypsy's which makes her crazy for coco puffs and goggly-eyed.
Caroline Bingley: It was weird because the author had her addressed as Lady Caroline, with no reason why? Caroline loves to take a switch to men's booty's while the man is attending to her vajayjay with his mouth. Her best customer is Mr. Hurst, though she really wants Mr. Darcy but he keeps refusing her, which is driving her crazy.
Charles Bingley: He has a thing for Mr. Darcy. His favorite occupation is getting Darcy drunk and then while Darcy is passed out climbing in Darcy's bed and sucking on Darcy's weewee.
Lady Catherine: She is a Dom. When people don't do what she thinks they should do, she puts them in stockades and whips them while she's wearing some weird black get up.
Mr. Collins: Is gay. His favorite past time is running about sucking on other men's wee wees so vigorously that he knocks out his teeth.
Charlotte Lucas: Is gay. She wants Lizzy, but Lizzy is too clueless to realize it, despite Charlotte constantly feeling her up. She has others who she is involved with but can't get over her craving for Lizzy.
Mr. Wickham: He ended up running off with Georgiana. He used her money to open up several whorehouses and sent Georgiana to go and work in them, where Darcy found out and rescued her. He is in the militia recruiting. He tells Elizabeth that it's Darcy who was the owner and Darcy who sent Georgiana off to work in them.
Lydia Bennet: Likes to get off humping inanimated objects to her family's horror. She also humps officers, two and three at a time. She runs off with Wickham and when they are forced to marry, she has no problem working in Mr. Wickham's place of business.
Mary Bennet: Tries to attract Mr. Collins attention by stuffing apples down her dress. She also goes to the gypsy's for potions that has adverse effects.
Jane Bennet: Is in love with Mr. Bingley and doesn't understand why when she accepts his proposal that Mr. Bingley throws her down and enters her 'hind quarters' and calls out Darcy's name.
Elizabeth Bennet: Once she meets Mr. Wickham she starts finding stuff to insert inside her to get herself off. She doesn't seem to get that Lydia is a hussy despite all the noises she makes in her room and what she does to any piece of furniture she passes.
Fitzwilliam Darcy: When he proposes to Elizabeth the first time he takes out his wee wee and strokes it, which prompts Elizabeth to umm . . . kiss it until the desired result occurs. LOL. I couldn't read that scene without thinking of Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle doing the same thing.
Okay, can you understand why I thought PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: HIDDEN LUSTS was crazy for coco puffs?
Despite all the erotica (and this is erotica and not an erotic romance), and my horror/fascination at the way such beloved characters were protrayed, it was still flat for me. It's because there was a lack of emotion. It was all about the sex and not about any emotions between Darcy and Elizabeth. I couldn't feel the deep connection that Darcy and Elizabeth have with each other. So despite my google eyed read, I was in the end disappointed.
10 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Ridiculous
By CB
Don¨t waste your time or money! For the author to use sex and erotic scenes is fine by me, but to have Bingley get Darcy drunk to suck him off or Mary growing a beard... This book is RIDICULOUS!
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